The Perfect Sandwich Making Guide (and Why People Ignore Press Releases)

This is a press release I just read which got me thinking: Kroger Crafts the Perfect Sandwich Making Guide

The release included a powerful reminder from one of their Vice Presidents of something that "every meal is an opportunity for creativity and enjoyment." I like sandwiches, so I was immediately hooked. Especially after they promised that there would be "endless possibilities in every bite." After all, who doesn't want that sort of optimism in a sandwich?

So, I dived into their perfect guide, which revealed the following five unexpected steps:

1. Choose your bread.
2. Pick your protein.
3. Add your cheese.
4. Pile on the veggies.
5. Finish with condiments.

This was stunning for me. I've never thought of building a sandwich like this. I always put the condiments on first. And then the veggies. Cheese and proteins are sometimes optional. I've also been known to leave out the bread altogether. Maybe I'm doing it wrong. I'm not ashamed to admit that this guide caused a minor identity crisis for me. If I can't build a sandwich properly, what else have I been screwing up in my life?

Ultimately, the experience led me into a deep dark rabbit hole where I started watching hours of sandwich making videos on YouTube, feeling inferior to sandwich influencers on Instagram and paying $4.99 for a sandwich wellness app that would help me develop more positive and uplifting sandwich habits. I'm also thinking about hiring a sandwich coach to complete my personal degustatory transformation.

Or maybe I'm 24 hours away from vacation and just getting sassy. Also, this is why people ignore press releases. :-)